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(Rhiannon’s
story)
Self-discovery,
self-awareness, self-healing and a passion for helping
others has been a constant in my life. My family was not
what you would call “conventional” and quite frankly, as
a kid, I felt like this was both a curse and a gift. My
mother and father were both pioneers in the study of
human consciousness. With a father who, at the time, was
the founding dean of the Consciousness Studies graduate
program at John F. Kennedy University and a mother who
was a teacher of holistic health and transpersonal
psychology at JFKU as well, I was exposed to this
introspective way of life from birth.
I entered this world and
my family as the youngest of three girls, immediately
exposed to the gift of being a woman, a daughter and a
sister. Growing up I seemed to know that I was meant to
be a mother, which manifested in being a teacher, coach,
counselor and a professional nanny.
My family was one that
encouraged full expression and exploration of the self.
We weren’t told how to act or what to be but supported
to feel our emotions, ask ourselves questions and listen
to the wisdom of our body. The one constant surrounding
us was the reminder of the body-mind connection. It took
me until I was entering my teen years to realize that
this was all a gift, there was no curse.
As I got older, I saw one
of my sisters embracing these concepts on another level
via a teen group with her friends, I found myself even
more curious and wanting the same opportunity to learn
and grow. This was a defining moment for me as I
discovered my true desire to explore more directly the
benefits of awareness and the application of these
principles and practices to both my friendships and the
challenges I faced growing up. Not long after, my
friends and I had our own teen group led by my mom.
Many teens might feel
that being in an intimate group led by their mother
would be their worst nightmare come true. My experience
was the exact opposite. I found a way to use the
practices to deepen my sense of self and begin
processing my emotions and wounds from my childhood.
This was the true beginning of my mom and I working
together. From this powerful, shared experience, I
developed an interest in learning more about this
transformational process and moved from participant to
assistant. This only ignited my desire to deepen my
study and find a way to share it with others. I became a
student teacher, received my certification and began
co-facilitating empowerment groups with my mom. It
became crystal clear that this would evolve from a
personal passion to a professional pursuit. |
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(Crystal’s
story)
I was the youngest of
three girls, and I am the mother of three daughters, who
are now 40, 37, and 32 years old. My mother taught me to
trust the healing power of love. She also showed me the
negative affects of denial and giving up herself. I knew
at a young age that my life’s work was to teach about
the healing power of love and to be a mother. I knew I
didn’t want to repeat the self-sacrificing, disempowered
path of my own mother. I also wanted to be an example
for my daughters of a woman who was as committed to
discovering and expressing her true self as much as she
was to being a good mother.
When I gave birth to my
third daughter, Rhiannon, I was also giving birth to
myself, and my work in the world. I attended graduate
school at John F. Kennedy University and then became a
professor in JFKU’s graduate program. Rhiannon was 18
months old when I went back to school. She was not happy
about it. I struggled with claiming what I knew I had to
do for myself and being the mother she deserved and
needed. This was one of the most challenging conflicts
of my life. I remember thinking, “How perfect! My baby
is as strongly committed to getting what she needs as I
am. It often seemed like a battle of our wills, and I
often felt she was winning. I asked to be empowered, I
didn’t know that my little girl would be the warrior
dueling it out with me on the “mat” of our
mother/daughter relationship. Our love for each other
was strong, our needs were conflicting, our goals
similar: empowerment, love, and deep connection.
By the time Rhiannon was
a teenager, I had been facilitating healing and
empowering groups for fourteen years. At 16, Rhiannon
asked me to start an empowerment group for her and some
friends. Having always been exposed to “personal
growth,” Rhiannon was hungry for new ways to deal with
“her problems.” As someone who always felt older than
her years and eager to help others, and as a result of
her experience in the teen group, Rhiannon went on to
study psychology, group process, and leadership in
college and graduate school.
I was blessed to be able
to share my work with my daughters, and be accepted as
their teacher as well as their mother. I realize that
having dual relationships, especially with one’s own
children, is not easy or that common, but though
challenging, it worked and we both grew and were
“students of each other”. I always acknowledged that my
children were my biggest teachers, reflecting what I had
not accepted about myself, calling me to challenge my
limits, and giving me the opportunity to experience
unconditional love and humbling acceptance.
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We Are All
Daughters was birthed at a Social Venture
Institute Leadership Conference at Hollyhock, B.C., after we
were given unsolicited feedback from participants that
they were deeply touched and affected by our presence
and the depth of our relationship. We realized that we
had something special to offer as mother and daughter,
and that there was a hunger in women, as well as an
anxiety about exploring their mother daughter
relationship. This was something we knew to be true from
our own experience as mother and daughter. Having an
ongoing commitment to exploring the challenges and gifts
of our relationship, we know how important it is for
women to heal in order to be truly empowered in their
lives. Thus began the discussion and resulting decision
to create a workshop focused on healing the mother-
daughter relationship and empowering women of all ages.
We feel blessed to be able to co-create a safe place
addressing the complex dynamics and patterns that exist
between mother and daughter while continuing to grow and
deepen our own relationship in the process.